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Premier League disaster membership of the week: Southampton

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Whereas a 4-0 away defeat to Manchester Metropolis isn’t often motive sufficient to be named disaster membership of the week – Metropolis are very, superb, and Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa are nonetheless Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa – on this case, an exception should be made given all of the quiet turmoil that is effervescent up beneath the floor on England’s south coast.

Drumroll please. Everybody, say good day to the present hottest mess within the Premier League, a division packed filled with scorching messes. That is proper, it is Southampton, AKA The Saints, AKA James Ward-Prowse’s Set Piece Supply FC.

What is the disaster?

There are lots of completely different sorts of crises.

1) Existential crises, the type the place you query if life has any inherent which means – unusually widespread amongst supporters of bottom-half Premier League groups, notably Aston Villa.

2) Monetary crises, the type the place you reside in a rustic inexplicably run by Liz Truss.

3) Technological crises, like when Arsene Wenger bought his zip caught on that large Arsenal puffer coat he used to put on within the winter, the one which went proper from his neck to his ankles.

It is tough to place your finger on precisely what sort of disaster Southampton are experiencing at this second in time however what we do know is that this: they’re the present footballing equal of the ‘that is nice’ meme, the one with the placid little canine within the bowler hat having a cup of tea as flames roar up round him and he slowly succumbs to smoke inhalation. That one. You realize the one I am speaking about. Even when you’re 45 years outdated and going by a midlife disaster. Hey look, there’s one other type, one Ralph Hasenhuttl and his constant roadman apparel would not learn about in any respect.

To be extra exact, Southampton have misplaced 4 on the trot, gained solely twice within the league this season and there are constant experiences, as in virtually each week, that the supervisor has misplaced the dressing room. In different phrases, Ralph’s doomed.

Why are they in disaster?

A myriad of causes, Clive.

Captain chief legend Ward-Prowse seems knackered and is enjoying the form of crab soccer (brief, again and sideways) that may make Harry Winks blush.

They do not have a goalscorer. Che Adams is a handful and leads the road effectively however he is not a pure finisher. Adam Armstrong seems to firmly belong within the Dwight Gayle, Anthony Knockaert and Matej Vydra class of being too good for the Championship however overwhelmingly ineffective within the Premier League.

Moussa Djenepo is Moussa Djenepo, and subsequently not superb in any respect.

After virtually 4 years in cost, Hasenhuttl appears to have run out of the way to get a squad of comparatively common expertise enjoying barely better-than-average soccer. However boy oh boy, what a journey it has been.

What can they do to rectify it?

I am unable to imagine I am writing these phrases however these are unusual instances we’re dwelling in. Rent Sean Dyche. Rent him now. Particularly given the truth that Steve Bruce has misplaced his job and the vultures which might be West Bromwich Albion are circling.

Why Dyche? Think about the defensive fortress he might create with Gavin Bazunu in purpose and Armel Bella-Kotchap and Mohammed Salisu at centre-back. A pleasant flat 4 throughout midfield with Joe Aribo and Stuart Armstrong as slender wingers. Romeo Lavia studying to shuttle throughout like he is by no means shuttled throughout earlier than. You’ll be able to simply image it, cannot you?

Whether or not the notorious worm-chewer is the best man for the job or not, Southampton have a historical past of constructing good appointments and may need to go for a barely extra engaging choice (Kjetil Knutsen, anybody?). It does, nevertheless, appear inevitable that Ralph Hasenhuttl will depart the membership in some unspecified time in the future this season and possibly sooner relatively than later.

A breath of recent air within the dressing room could possibly be all it takes to get this membership again to being a stable mid-table facet one way or the other nonetheless able to dropping 9-0 on any given weekend. Until they appoint Sean Dyche in fact, on condition that the person would immediately retire out of disgrace the second he ever conceded 9 targets in a recreation.

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